mirror of
https://github.com/osmarks/website
synced 2024-11-08 20:29:55 +00:00
29 lines
2.3 KiB
HTML
29 lines
2.3 KiB
HTML
---
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title: You Are Probably Offline
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comments: off
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---
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<p>If you're seeing this page and this message, then:
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<ul>
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<li>you are offline.</li>
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<li>this site is offline.</li>
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<li>the "internet" connection on your end or this site's is limited somehow and so you can't connect.</li>
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<li>you decided to look at the source or something and found this page.</li>
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<li>the Earth has been destroyed or nuclear war has occured, threatening the integrity of the DNS system.</li>
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<li>Contingency Iota has been initiated.</li>
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<li>your browser is being weird.</li>
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<li>I broke something somewhere quite badly.</li>
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<li>your internet connection is too high-latency - the timeout on requests is 5 seconds.</li>
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<li>???</li>
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</ul>
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This site uses a service worker to provide a limited offline mode, but it doesn't work for everything (dynamic pages, ones requiring a bit of server logic, the comments system, pages which haven't been cached), so you are being shown this instead.
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Please enjoy the below "flappy bird" game until your connection comes back, thanks to palaiologos (click or press space).
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</p>
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<!--experimental miniaturized bird (flappy) (contributed by palaiologos and tweaked by me inelegantly)-->
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<canvas style="border: 1px solid black"></canvas>
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<script defer>
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const q = document.querySelector("canvas")
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let canstart = true
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J=q.width=q.height=Math.min(500, document.querySelector("p").clientWidth);Q='50px monospace';with(Math)with(C=q.getContext`2d`)with(X=Y=R=0,init=e=(e=>{w=f=Y=X=0,R=1,H=250,q.focus(),canstart=false,V=-10,P=[],(F=(e=>{e-w>1/60&&(Y&&(V=-10,Y=0),H+=V,V+=.8,P.forEach(e=>e.P-=3),f%50||P.push({P:J,L:150+(0|200*random()),C:'rgb('+255*random()+','+255*random()+','+255*random()+')'}),(P.some(e=>abs(e.L-H+2)>60&&0<e.P&&e.P<25)||H>J||H<0)&&(R=0,setTimeout(e=>{font=Q,fillStyle='red',fillText(':(',50,90),canstart=true},99)),clearRect(0,0,J,J),P.forEach(e=>{with(e){fillStyle=C,fillRect(P,0,20,L-60),fillRect(P,L+60,20,J-(L+60))}}),fillStyle='red',fillRect(20,H,10,10),font=Q,fillStyle='red',fillText(ceil(f/50-10/3),40,40),f++,w=e),R&&requestAnimationFrame(F)}))()}),document)onkeydown=(e=>{' '==e.key&&R?++Y:' '==e.key; if (canstart) {init()}}),onmousedown=(e=>{R&&++Y; if (canstart) {init()}});
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window.addEventListener("load", function() { if ("points" in window) { points.unlockAchievement("offline") }})
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</script>
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