---
title: Idea Generator
slug: ideas
description: Generates ideas. Terribly. Don't do them. These are not good ideas.
---

<noscript>
    The Idea Generator requires JavaScript to function.
</noscript>

<div id="app">
    <div id="out">ERROR</div>
    <button onclick="set()">Randomize</button>
</div>

<script>
    // Picks a random element from an array
    function pickRandom(l) {
        return l[Math.floor(Math.random() * l.length)];
    }
    
    function genMany(f, times) {
        return Array.apply(null, Array(times)).map(f);
    }

    // Makes an array by repeating "x" "times" times.
    // Uses stackoverflow magic.
    function repeat(x, times) { 
        return genMany(function() { return x; }, times);
    }
    
    // Weighted random: takes an array formatted as [[1, "a"], [2, "b"]], interprets first element of each pair as a weight, and then the second as a value
    // Weights must be integers and should be small, or they'll eat all memory.
    function pickWeightedRandom(arr) {
        var longArray = arr.map(function(pair) {
            return repeat(pair[1], pair[0]);
        }).reduce(function(acc, x) {
            return acc.concat(x);
        });
        return pickRandom(longArray);
    }
    
    // Returns thing with given probability, otherwise an empty string
    function addMaybe(probability, thing) {
        return Math.random() < probability ? thing : "";
    }
    
    var vowels = ["a", "e", "i", "o", "u"];
    
    // Correctly discriminates between a/an given the word coming after it
    function connectorA(after) {
        var firstLetter = after[0];
        return vowels.indexOf(firstLetter) > -1 ? "an" : "a";
    }
    
    // Fed to reduce in order to evaluate a pattern
    function evalPatternReducer(output, current) {
        var last = output[output.length - 1]; // Pick the previous output (this will be the one coming afterwards in the actual final output)
        return output.concat([current(last)]);
    }
    
    function randomize() {
        if (Math.random() < 0.02) {
            return pickRandom(others);
        }
        
        return pickWeightedRandom(patterns).reduceRight(evalPatternReducer, []).reverse().join(" ");
    }
    
    function set() {
        document.getElementById("out").innerText = randomize();
    }
    
    function applyConnector(prev) {
        var c = pickRandom(connectors);
        if (typeof c == "string") {
            return c
        } else {
            return c(prev);
        }
    }
    
    function always(x) {
        return function() {
            return x
        }
    }
    
    var adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern = [
    function() { return addMaybe(0.3, pickRandom(adverbs)); },
    function() { return pickRandom(actions); },
    applyConnector,
    function() { return addMaybe(0.5, pickRandom(adjectives)); },
    function() { return pickRandom(things); }
    ]
    
    var patterns = [
    [4, adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern],
    [1, [always("do not")].concat(adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern)],
    [1, adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern.concat([always("or else")])]
    ];
    
    var things = [
    "pancake",
    "cat",
    "app",
    "idea generator",
    "dog",
    "idea",
    "problem",
    "chair",
    "sandwich",
    "ice cream",
    "town",
    "book",
    "country",
    "computer",
    "duct tape",
    "apple juice",
    "cow",
    "lamp",
    "politician",
    "car",
    "chair",
    "swivel chair",
    "ethernet switch",
    "radio",
    "watermelon",
    "point",
    "data",
    "spaceship",
    "planet",
    "moon",
    "star",
    "black hole",
    "decagon",
    "crate",
    "javascript framework"
    ];
    
    var adverbableAdjectives = [
    "quick",
    "slow",
    "huge",
    "large",
    "great",
    "awful",
    "irritating",
    "stupid",
    "ideal",
    "wonderful",
    "brilliant",
    "political",
    "cool",
    "orthogonal",
    "strange",
    "weird",
    "excellent"
    ]
    
    var otherAdjectives = [
    "5-gigabit",
    "tall",
    "fast",
    "small",
    "triangular",
    "octagonal",
    "nonexistent",
    "imaginary",
    "hyperbolic"
    ]
    
    var adjectives = adverbableAdjectives.concat(otherAdjectives);
    
    var otherAdverbs = [
    ]

    var adverbs = adverbableAdjectives.map(function(a) {return a + "ly";}).concat(otherAdverbs);
    
    var actions = [
    "talk to",
    "make",
    "find",
    "delete",
    "meet",
    "solve",
    "sit on",
    "eat",
    "enlighten",
    "believe in",
    "change",
    "take",
    "study",
    "use",
    "visit",
    "understand",
    "read",
    "travel to",
    "buy",
    "sell",
    "encourage",
    "argue with",
    "load",
    "fix",
    "argue about",
    "create"
    ];
    
    var connectors = [
    "your",
    "my",
    connectorA,
    "the",
    "someone's",
    "another"
    ]
    
    var optimalConfigurations = [
    "Firefox 23 on a Difference Engine",
    "manual HTTP over Telnet on a Pentium 3",
    "NetPositive on Haiku (<0.6)",
    "Vanadium 764 on an AlphaHoloCore P-series (> 150THz recommended)",
    "a quantum cheeseputer",
    "emulating a CPU on paper",
    "a computer outside of the Matrix",
    "an iPhone 2 (the Angular 3/PHP 6 version is required on this platform)",
    "a computer with an x87 processor",
    "a 1048576-bit device supporting the x186 architecture"
    ]
    
    var others = [
    "Protocol Omega has been activated.",
    "Error. Out of 1s.",
    "Don't believe his lies.",
    "Error. You have broken the Internet.",
    "They are coming for you. RUN!",
    "Help, I'm trapped in an idea generator!",
    "*** Prelude.undefined: matrix/src/Physics/SubquantumGravity.hs:1337",
    "Please switch to " + pickRandom(optimalConfigurations) + " for an optimal experience.",
    "User error. The user will be deleted.",
    genMany(function() { return String.fromCharCode(Math.random() * 2048); }, 1024).join("")
    ]
    
    set();
</script>