mirror of
https://github.com/osmarks/website
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245 lines
5.8 KiB
HTML
245 lines
5.8 KiB
HTML
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---
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title: Idea Generator
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slug: ideas
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description: Generates ideas. Terribly. Don't do them. These are not good ideas.
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---
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<noscript>
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The Idea Generator requires JavaScript to function.
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</noscript>
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<div id="app">
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<div id="out">ERROR</div>
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<button onclick="set()">Randomize</button>
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</div>
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<script>
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// Picks a random element from an array
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function pickRandom(l) {
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return l[Math.floor(Math.random() * l.length)];
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}
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function genMany(f, times) {
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return Array.apply(null, Array(times)).map(f);
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}
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// Makes an array by repeating "x" "times" times.
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// Uses stackoverflow magic.
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function repeat(x, times) {
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return genMany(function() { return x; }, times);
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}
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// Weighted random: takes an array formatted as [[1, "a"], [2, "b"]], interprets first element of each pair as a weight, and then the second as a value
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// Weights must be integers and should be small, or they'll eat all memory.
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function pickWeightedRandom(arr) {
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var longArray = arr.map(function(pair) {
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return repeat(pair[1], pair[0]);
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}).reduce(function(acc, x) {
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return acc.concat(x);
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});
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return pickRandom(longArray);
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}
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// Returns thing with given probability, otherwise an empty string
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function addMaybe(probability, thing) {
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return Math.random() < probability ? thing : "";
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}
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var vowels = ["a", "e", "i", "o", "u"];
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// Correctly discriminates between a/an given the word coming after it
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function connectorA(after) {
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var firstLetter = after[0];
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return vowels.indexOf(firstLetter) > -1 ? "an" : "a";
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}
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// Fed to reduce in order to evaluate a pattern
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function evalPatternReducer(output, current) {
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var last = output[output.length - 1]; // Pick the previous output (this will be the one coming afterwards in the actual final output)
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return output.concat([current(last)]);
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}
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function randomize() {
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if (Math.random() < 0.02) {
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return pickRandom(others);
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}
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return pickWeightedRandom(patterns).reduceRight(evalPatternReducer, []).reverse().join(" ");
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}
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function set() {
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document.getElementById("out").innerText = randomize();
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}
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function applyConnector(prev) {
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var c = pickRandom(connectors);
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if (typeof c == "string") {
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return c
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} else {
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return c(prev);
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}
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}
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function always(x) {
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return function() {
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return x
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}
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}
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var adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern = [
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function() { return addMaybe(0.3, pickRandom(adverbs)); },
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function() { return pickRandom(actions); },
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applyConnector,
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function() { return addMaybe(0.5, pickRandom(adjectives)); },
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function() { return pickRandom(things); }
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]
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var patterns = [
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[4, adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern],
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[1, [always("do not")].concat(adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern)],
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[1, adverbActionAdjectiveNounPattern.concat([always("or else")])]
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];
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var things = [
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"pancake",
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"cat",
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"app",
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"idea generator",
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"dog",
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"idea",
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"problem",
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"chair",
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"sandwich",
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"ice cream",
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"town",
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"book",
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"country",
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"computer",
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"duct tape",
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"apple juice",
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"cow",
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"lamp",
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"politician",
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"car",
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"chair",
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"swivel chair",
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"ethernet switch",
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"radio",
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"watermelon",
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"point",
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"data",
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"spaceship",
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"planet",
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"moon",
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"star",
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"black hole",
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"decagon",
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"crate",
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"javascript framework"
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];
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var adverbableAdjectives = [
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"quick",
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"slow",
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"huge",
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"large",
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"great",
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"awful",
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"irritating",
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"stupid",
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"ideal",
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"wonderful",
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"brilliant",
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"political",
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"cool",
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"orthogonal",
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"strange",
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"weird",
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"excellent"
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]
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var otherAdjectives = [
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"5-gigabit",
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"tall",
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"fast",
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"small",
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"triangular",
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"octagonal",
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"nonexistent",
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"imaginary",
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"hyperbolic"
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]
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var adjectives = adverbableAdjectives.concat(otherAdjectives);
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var otherAdverbs = [
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]
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var adverbs = adverbableAdjectives.map(function(a) {return a + "ly";}).concat(otherAdverbs);
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var actions = [
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"talk to",
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"make",
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"find",
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"delete",
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"meet",
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"solve",
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"sit on",
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"eat",
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"enlighten",
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"believe in",
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"change",
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"take",
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"study",
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"use",
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"visit",
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"understand",
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"read",
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"travel to",
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"buy",
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"sell",
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"encourage",
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"argue with",
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"load",
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"fix",
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"argue about",
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"create"
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];
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var connectors = [
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"your",
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"my",
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connectorA,
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"the",
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"someone's",
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"another"
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]
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var optimalConfigurations = [
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"Firefox 23 on a Difference Engine",
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"manual HTTP over Telnet on a Pentium 3",
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"NetPositive on Haiku (<0.6)",
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"Vanadium 764 on an AlphaHoloCore P-series (> 150THz recommended)",
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"a quantum cheeseputer",
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"emulating a CPU on paper",
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"a computer outside of the Matrix",
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"an iPhone 2 (the Angular 3/PHP 6 version is required on this platform)",
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"a computer with an x87 processor",
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"a 1048576-bit device supporting the x186 architecture"
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]
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var others = [
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"Protocol Omega has been activated.",
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"Error. Out of 1s.",
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"Don't believe his lies.",
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"Error. You have broken the Internet.",
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"They are coming for you. RUN!",
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"Help, I'm trapped in an idea generator!",
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"*** Prelude.undefined: matrix/src/Physics/SubquantumGravity.hs:1337",
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"Please switch to " + pickRandom(optimalConfigurations) + " for an optimal experience.",
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"User error. The user will be deleted.",
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genMany(function() { return String.fromCharCode(Math.random() * 2048); }, 1024).join("")
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]
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set();
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</script>
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