testbot/src/index.js

const irc = require("irc-upd")
const childProcess = require("child_process")
const syllables = require("syllable")
const R = require("ramda")
const pluralize = require("pluralize")

const { DB, SQL } = require("./db")

var client = new irc.Client(process.argv[2] || "irc.osmarks.net", "testbot", {
    channels: ["#a", "#botrobots", "#b"],
    userName: "testbot",
    encoding: "utf8",
    port: 6667
});

let links = null
let linksResolve = null

const logEv = (ty, thing) => SQL`INSERT INTO thing_log (timestamp, type, thing) VALUES (${Date.now()}, ${ty}, ${thing})`.run()

const scanlinks = () => {
    return new Promise(resolve => {
        if (!linksResolve) {
            client.send("LINKS")
            linksResolve = [resolve]
            links = []
        } else {
            linksResolve.push(resolve)
        }
    })
}

let sylhist = []
let mhist = []

// pluralize seems to drop unicode sometimes
// hackily cope with this
const safelyOperate = (s, fn) => {
    let res = fn(s)
    if (res.trim() === "") { return s }
    return res
}

const handleOf = (thing, fn) => {
    const ofsplt = /^(.*)\W+of\W+(.*)$/.exec(thing)
    if (ofsplt) {
        return `${fn(ofsplt[1])} of ${ofsplt[2]}`
    } else {
        return fn(thing)
    }
}

const renderItem = x => x.quantity === 1 ? x.thing : `${x.quantity} ${handleOf(x.thing, pluralize.plural)}`

client.addListener("message", (nick, channel, message, ev) => {
    const e = /^<([^>]+)> (.*)$/.exec(message)
    if (e) {
        nick = e[1]
        message = e[2]
    }
    const res = /^([A-Za-z0-9_-]+)[:, ]*([A-Za-z0-9_-]+) *(.*)$/.exec(message)
    if (res) {
        let [_, tnick, cmd, args] = res
        tnick = tnick.toLowerCase()
        args = args.trim().replace(/[.!?]$/, "")
        cmd = cmd.toLowerCase()
        if (tnick === client.nick) {
            console.log(nick, cmd, channel)
            if (cmd === "starch") {
                client.say(channel, `starch exists (${Math.random() * 20 + 80}% confidence).`)
            } else if (cmd === "stats") {
                client.say(channel, "haha no")
            } else if (cmd === "help") {
                client.say(channel, "nobody can help you now")
            } else if (cmd === "fortune") {
                childProcess.exec("fortune", (err, out) => {
                    if (err) { return console.warn(err) }
                    client.say(channel, out)
                })
            } else if (cmd === "cat") {
                client.say(channel, "meow")
            } else if (cmd === "servers") {
                scanlinks().then(links => client.say(channel, links.map(x => `${x[1]}: ${/^[0-9]+ (.*)$/.exec(x[3])[1]}`).join("\n")))
            } else if (cmd === "take" || cmd === "have") {
                const things = args.split(/(,| and )/).map(x => x.trim().replace(",", "").replace(/^(an?|the) /, "")).filter(x => x !== "" && x !== "and")
                for (let thing of things) {
                    let qty = 1
                    const res = /^([-0-9.]+|some|many|half)\b\s*(.*)$/iu.exec(thing)
                    if (res) {
                        const [_, rrqty, rthing] = res
                        thing = rthing
                        const rqty = rrqty.toLowerCase()
                        if (rqty === "some") {
                            qty = Math.floor(Math.random() * 17)
                        } else if (rqty === "many") {
                            qty = Math.floor(Math.random() * 2300)
                        } else if (rqty === "half") {
                            qty = 0.5
                        } else {
                            qty = parseFloat(rqty)
                        }
                    }
                    thing = handleOf(thing, pluralize.singular)
                    const currQty = SQL`SELECT * FROM inventory WHERE thing = ${thing}`.get()?.quantity
                    if (currQty) { qty += currQty }
                    qty = qty || 0
                    SQL`INSERT OR REPLACE INTO inventory VALUES (${thing}, ${Date.now()}, ${qty})`.run()
                    console.log("attained", qty, thing)
                    client.say(channel, `I have ${renderItem({ thing, quantity: qty })}.`)
                }
            } else if (cmd.startsWith("inv")) {
                const inv = SQL`SELECT * FROM inventory ORDER BY obtained_at DESC LIMIT 10`.all()
                client.say(channel, inv.map(renderItem).join("\n"))
            } else if (cmd === "deploy") {
                client.say(channel, `Deploying ${args}`)
            }
        }
    }

    const messageContent = message.replace(/^(\s*[<\[][A-Za-z0-9_-]+[>\]]\s*)+/, "")
    sylhist = R.takeLast(3, R.append(syllables(messageContent), sylhist))
    mhist = R.takeLast(50, R.append(messageContent, mhist))
    if (R.equals(sylhist, [5, 7, 5])) {
        client.say(channel, "haiku detected!")
        logEv("haiku", R.takeLast(3, mhist).join("\n"))
    }
    console.log(sylhist)
})

client.addListener("raw", ev => {
    if (ev.command === "rpl_links") {
        links.push(ev.args)
    } else if (ev.command === "rpl_endoflinks" && linksResolve) {
        linksResolve.forEach(r => r(links))
        linksResolve = null
        links = []
    }
})