From 7e32e2efcf8f23df6171d3f754a3799722566a48 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Marxsal Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2021 13:17:47 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] Add tag Demonstration to related tiddlers (#6213) --- .../demonstrations/Alice in Wonderland.tid | 3711 +---------------- .../tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Apple.tid | 4 +- .../demonstrations/Caruso - Ave Maria.tid | 3 - 3 files changed, 6 insertions(+), 3712 deletions(-) diff --git a/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Alice in Wonderland.tid b/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Alice in Wonderland.tid index 934c21967..6f0de722e 100644 --- a/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Alice in Wonderland.tid +++ b/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Alice in Wonderland.tid @@ -1,3709 +1,6 @@ +_canonical_uri: ./text/Alice%2520in%2520Wonderland.tid +created: 20211115005303931 +modified: 20211115005335712 +tags: external-text Demonstrations title: Alice in Wonderland -tags: external-text -//Included here as a demonstration of ExternalText text support. See the bottom for the license from Project Gutenberg// - ---- - -# ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND - -## Lewis Carroll - -THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0 - -!!! CHAPTER I. Down the Rabbit-Hole - -Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the -bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the -book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in -it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures or -conversations?' - -So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the -hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure -of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and -picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran -close by her. - -There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so -VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! -Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it -occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time -it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH -OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, -Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had -never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch -to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field -after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large -rabbit-hole under the hedge. - -In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how -in the world she was to get out again. - -The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then -dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think -about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep -well. - -Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had -plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was -going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what -she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she -looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with -cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures -hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as -she passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great -disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear -of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as -she fell past it. - -'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall -think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at -home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top -of the house!' (Which was very likely true.) - -Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! 'I wonder how -many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting -somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four -thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several -things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this -was not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there -was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) -'--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude -or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or -Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.) - -Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the -earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with -their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad -there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the -right word) '--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country -is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and -she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling -through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And what an -ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to -ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.' - -Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began -talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!' -(Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at -tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no -mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very -like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice -began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy -sort of way, 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do -bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, -it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing -off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with -Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: -did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon -a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. - -Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: -she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another -long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. -There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and -was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears -and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she -turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found -herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging -from the roof. - -There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when -Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every -door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to -get out again. - -Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid -glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's -first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; -but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, -but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second -time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and -behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the -little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted! - -Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not -much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage -into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of -that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and -those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the -doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it -would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could -shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin.' -For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, -that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really -impossible. - -There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went -back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at -any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this -time she found a little bottle on it, ('which certainly was not here -before,' said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper -label, with the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large -letters. - -It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was -not going to do THAT in a hurry. 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and -see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice -little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild -beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember -the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot -poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your -finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never -forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison,' it is -almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later. - -However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste -it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour -of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot -buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off. - - * * * * * * * - - * * * * * * - - * * * * * * * - -'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up like a -telescope.' - -And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face -brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going -through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she -waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: -she felt a little nervous about this; 'for it might end, you know,' said -Alice to herself, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder -what I should be like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a -candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember -ever having seen such a thing. - -After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going -into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the -door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she -went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach -it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her -best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; -and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing -sat down and cried. - -'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, -rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally -gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), -and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into -her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having -cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, -for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. -'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! -Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!' - -Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: -she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words -'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 'Well, I'll eat it,' said -Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it -makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll -get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!' - -She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which way? Which -way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was -growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same -size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice -had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way -things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on -in the common way. - -So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake. - - * * * * * * * - - * * * * * * - - * * * * * * * - - - - -!!! CHAPTER II. The Pool of Tears - -'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that -for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); 'now I'm -opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!' -(for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of -sight, they were getting so far off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder -who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure -_I_ shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble -myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;--but I must be -kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way I want -to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.' - -And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 'They must -go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending -presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look! - - ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ. - HEARTHRUG, - NEAR THE FENDER, - (WITH ALICE'S LOVE). - -Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!' - -Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was -now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden -key and hurried off to the garden door. - -Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to -look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more -hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. - -'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like -you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this -moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of -tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches -deep and reaching half down the hall. - -After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and -she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White -Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in -one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great -hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! -Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so -desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit -came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If you please, sir--' -The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, -and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go. - -Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she -kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How -queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. -I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the -same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a -little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who -in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began thinking -over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to -see if she could have been changed for any of them. - -'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long -ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't -be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a -very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling -it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me -see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and -four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! -However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. -London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and -Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for -Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her -hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, -but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the -same as they used to do:-- - - 'How doth the little crocodile - Improve his shining tail, - And pour the waters of the Nile - On every golden scale! - - 'How cheerfully he seems to grin, - How neatly spread his claws, - And welcome little fishes in - With gently smiling jaws!' - -'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes -filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and -I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to -no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've -made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no -use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I -shall only look up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, -if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here -till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden burst -of tears, 'I do wish they WOULD put their heads down! I am so VERY tired -of being all alone here!' - -As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see -that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while -she was talking. 'How CAN I have done that?' she thought. 'I must -be growing small again.' She got up and went to the table to measure -herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now -about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found -out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped -it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether. - -'That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the -sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and -now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door: -but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was -lying on the glass table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' -thought the poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! -And I declare it's too bad, that it is!' - -As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! -she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she -had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that case I can go back by -railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in -her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go -to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the -sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row -of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon -made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she -was nine feet high. - -'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying -to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by -being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure! -However, everything is queer to-day.' - -Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way -off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought -it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small -she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had -slipped in like herself. - -'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to this mouse? -Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very -likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she -began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired -of swimming about here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right -way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but -she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of -a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather -inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes, -but it said nothing. - -'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's -a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all -her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago -anything had happened.) So she began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which -was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a -sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. -'Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt -the poor animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.' - -'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would -YOU like cats if you were me?' - -'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry -about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd -take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet -thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the -pool, 'and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and -washing her face--and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's -such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried -Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she -felt certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any -more if you'd rather not.' - -'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his -tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED -cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!' - -'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of -conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not -answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is such a nice little dog near -our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you -know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when -you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts -of things--I can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, -you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He -says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful -tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was swimming -away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in -the pool as it went. - -So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we -won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the -Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its -face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low -trembling voice, 'Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my -history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.' - -It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the -birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, -a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the -way, and the whole party swam to the shore. - - - - -!!! CHAPTER III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale - -They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the -birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close -to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. - -The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a -consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural -to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had -known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the -Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, 'I am older than -you, and must know better'; and this Alice would not allow without -knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its -age, there was no more to be said. - -At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, -called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you -dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse -in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt -sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. - -'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This -is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William -the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted -to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much -accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of -Mercia and Northumbria--"' - -'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver. - -'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did -you speak?' - -'Not I!' said the Lory hastily. - -'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, -the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, -the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"' - -'Found WHAT?' said the Duck. - -'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what -"it" means.' - -'I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the -Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the -archbishop find?' - -The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '"--found -it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the -crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his -Normans--" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning -to Alice as it spoke. - -'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to -dry me at all.' - -'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move -that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic -remedies--' - -'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half -those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And -the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds -tittered audibly. - -'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that -the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.' - -'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, -but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, -and no one else seemed inclined to say anything. - -'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as -you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell -you how the Dodo managed it.) - -First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact -shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed -along the course, here and there. There was no 'One, two, three, and -away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they -liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, -when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, -the Dodo suddenly called out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded -round it, panting, and asking, 'But who has won?' - -This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, -and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead -(the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures -of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, -'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.' - -'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked. - -'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; -and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused -way, 'Prizes! Prizes!' - -Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her -pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had -not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one -a-piece all round. - -'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse. - -'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have you got in -your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice. - -'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly. - -'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo. - -Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly -presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of this elegant -thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. - -Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave -that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything -to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she -could. - -The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and -confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste -theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. -However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and -begged the Mouse to tell them something more. - -'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 'and why -it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it -would be offended again. - -'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and -sighing. - -'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at -the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling -about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was -something like this:-- - - 'Fury said to a - mouse, That he - met in the - house, - "Let us - both go to - law: I will - prosecute - YOU.--Come, - I'll take no - denial; We - must have a - trial: For - really this - morning I've - nothing - to do." - Said the - mouse to the - cur, "Such - a trial, - dear Sir, - With - no jury - or judge, - would be - wasting - our - breath." - "I'll be - judge, I'll - be jury," - Said - cunning - old Fury: - "I'll - try the - whole - cause, - and - condemn - you - to - death."' - - -'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 'What are you -thinking of?' - -'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the fifth -bend, I think?' - -'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily. - -'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking -anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!' - -'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking -away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!' - -'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily offended, -you know!' - -The Mouse only growled in reply. - -'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the -others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook -its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker. - -'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite -out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her -daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose -YOUR temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little -snappishly. 'You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!' - -'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing -nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!' - -'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the -Lory. - -Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet: -'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you -can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, -she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!' - -This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the -birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very -carefully, remarking, 'I really must be getting home; the night-air -doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to -its children, 'Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' -On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. - -'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy -tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best -cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you -any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very -lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard -a little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up -eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming -back to finish his story. - - - - -!!! CHAPTER IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill - -It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking -anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard -it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh -my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are -ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a -moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, -and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were -nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her swim in -the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, -had vanished completely. - -Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and -called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing -out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! -Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once -in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it -had made. - -'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 'How -surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him -his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' As she said this, she -came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass -plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without -knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the -real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the -fan and gloves. - -'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going messages for -a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she -began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come -here directly, and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, -nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't -think,' Alice went on, 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it -began ordering people about like that!' - -By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table -in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs -of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, -and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little -bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time -with the words 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it -to her lips. 'I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said -to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what -this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really -I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!' - -It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had -drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling, -and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put -down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't -grow any more--As it is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't -drunk quite so much!' - -Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing, -and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there -was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with -one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head. -Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out -of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself 'Now I -can do no more, whatever happens. What WILL become of me?' - -Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect, -and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there -seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room -again, no wonder she felt unhappy. - -'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't -always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and -rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and -yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what -CAN have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that -kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! -There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I -grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful -tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more HERE.' - -'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I am -now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but -then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!' - -'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you learn -lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all -for any lesson-books!' - -And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making -quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard -a voice outside, and stopped to listen. - -'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this moment!' -Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was -the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the -house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large -as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it. - -Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as -the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it, -that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself 'Then I'll -go round and get in at the window.' - -'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied -she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her -hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything, -but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass, -from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a -cucumber-frame, or something of the sort. - -Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And -then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm here! Digging -for apples, yer honour!' - -'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here! Come and -help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.) - -'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?' - -'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.') - -'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole -window!' - -'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.' - -'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!' - -There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers -now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at -all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her -hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were -TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of -cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do -next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm -sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!' - -She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a -rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices -all talking together: she made out the words: 'Where's the other -ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill! -fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em -together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh! they'll -do well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill! catch hold of this -rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming -down! Heads below!' (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I -fancy--Who's to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I -won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to -go down the chimney!' - -'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to -herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in -Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but -I THINK I can kick a little!' - -She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited -till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) -scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, -saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to -see what would happen next. - -The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!' -then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then -silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold up his head--Brandy -now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell -us all about it!' - -Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought -Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm -a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me -like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!' - -'So you did, old fellow!' said the others. - -'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called -out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!' - -There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I -wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the -roof off.' After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and -Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin with.' - -'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt, -for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the -window, and some of them hit her in the face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' -she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better not do that again!' -which produced another dead silence. - -Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into -little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her -head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make -SOME change in my size; and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must -make me smaller, I suppose.' - -So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she -began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through -the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little -animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was -in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it -something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she -appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself -safe in a thick wood. - -'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered -about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second -thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be -the best plan.' - -It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply -arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea -how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among -the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a -great hurry. - -An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and -feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 'Poor little thing!' -said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but -she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be -hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of -all her coaxing. - -Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and -held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off -all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, -and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, -to keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the -other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head -over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was -very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every -moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then -the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very -little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely -all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with -its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut. - -This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she -set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and -till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance. - -'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant -against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the -leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd -only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that -I've got to grow up again! Let me see--how IS it to be managed? I -suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great -question is, what?' - -The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at -the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that -looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. -There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as -herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and -behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what -was on the top of it. - -She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the -mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, -that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long -hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else. - - - - -!!! CHAPTER V. Advice from a Caterpillar - -The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: -at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed -her in a languid, sleepy voice. - -'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar. - -This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, -rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know -who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been -changed several times since then.' - -'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain -yourself!' - -'I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not -myself, you see.' - -'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar. - -'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, -'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many -different sizes in a day is very confusing.' - -'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar. - -'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you -have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then -after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little -queer, won't you?' - -'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar. - -'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know -is, it would feel very queer to ME.' - -'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are YOU?' - -Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. -Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY -short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, 'I think, -you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.' - -'Why?' said the Caterpillar. - -Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any -good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant -state of mind, she turned away. - -'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something important -to say!' - -This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again. - -'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar. - -'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she -could. - -'No,' said the Caterpillar. - -Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and -perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some -minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its -arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, 'So you think -you're changed, do you?' - -'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I -used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!' - -'Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar. - -'Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came -different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice. - -'Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar. - -Alice folded her hands, and began:-- - - 'You are old, Father William,' the young man said, - 'And your hair has become very white; - And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- - Do you think, at your age, it is right?' - - 'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, - 'I feared it might injure the brain; - But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, - Why, I do it again and again.' - - 'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before, - And have grown most uncommonly fat; - Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- - Pray, what is the reason of that?' - - 'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, - 'I kept all my limbs very supple - By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- - Allow me to sell you a couple?' - - 'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak - For anything tougher than suet; - Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- - Pray how did you manage to do it?' - - 'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law, - And argued each case with my wife; - And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, - Has lasted the rest of my life.' - - 'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose - That your eye was as steady as ever; - Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- - What made you so awfully clever?' - - 'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' - Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs! - Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? - Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!' - - -'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar. - -'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words -have got altered.' - -'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and -there was silence for some minutes. - -The Caterpillar was the first to speak. - -'What size do you want to be?' it asked. - -'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one -doesn't like changing so often, you know.' - -'I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar. - -Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life -before, and she felt that she was losing her temper. - -'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar. - -'Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,' -said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched height to be.' - -'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing -itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high). - -'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And -she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily -offended!' - -'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the -hookah into its mouth and began smoking again. - -This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In -a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth -and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the -mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, -'One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you -grow shorter.' - -'One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself. - -'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it -aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight. - -Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying -to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly -round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she -stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit -of the edge with each hand. - -'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of -the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent -blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot! - -She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt -that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she -set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed -so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her -mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the -lefthand bit. - - - * * * * * * * - - * * * * * * - - * * * * * * * - -'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which -changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders -were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was -an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a -sea of green leaves that lay far below her. - -'What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And where HAVE my -shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' -She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, -except a little shaking among the distant green leaves. - -As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she -tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her -neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had -just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going -to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops -of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made -her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and -was beating her violently with its wings. - -'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon. - -'I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me alone!' - -'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, -and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems -to suit them!' - -'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice. - -'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried -hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but those -serpents! There's no pleasing them!' - -Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in -saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished. - -'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; -'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I -haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!' - -'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to -see its meaning. - -'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the -Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I -should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from -the sky! Ugh, Serpent!' - -'But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm a--I'm a--' - -'Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to -invent something!' - -'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered -the number of changes she had gone through that day. - -'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest -contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE -with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use -denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an -egg!' - -'I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful -child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you -know.' - -'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're -a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.' - -This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a -minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're -looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me -whether you're a little girl or a serpent?' - -'It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not looking -for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't -like them raw.' - -'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled -down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as -she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and -every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she -remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and -she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the -other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had -succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height. - -It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it -felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, -and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come, there's half my plan done -now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going -to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right -size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that -to be done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open -place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever lives -there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them THIS size: why, -I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she began nibbling at the -righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she -had brought herself down to nine inches high. - - - - -!!! CHAPTER VI. Pig and Pepper - -For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what -to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the -wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: -otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a -fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened -by another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a -frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all -over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, -and crept a little way out of the wood to listen. - -The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, -nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, -saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen -to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, -only changing the order of the words a little, 'From the Queen. An -invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.' - -Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together. - -Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the -wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the -Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the -door, staring stupidly up into the sky. - -Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked. - -'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for -two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you -are; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one could -possibly hear you.' And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise -going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then -a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces. - -'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?' - -'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on -without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For instance, -if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.' -He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this -Alice thought decidedly uncivil. 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she -said to herself; 'his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head. -But at any rate he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she -repeated, aloud. - -'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--' - -At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came -skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, -and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him. - -'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly -as if nothing had happened. - -'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone. - -'ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's the first -question, you know.' - -It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's really -dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue. -It's enough to drive one crazy!' - -The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his -remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for -days and days.' - -'But what am I to do?' said Alice. - -'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling. - -'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's -perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in. - -The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from -one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in -the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring -a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup. - -'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, -as well as she could for sneezing. - -There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess -sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling -alternately without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen -that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on -the hearth and grinning from ear to ear. - -'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was -not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why -your cat grins like that?' - -'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!' - -She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite -jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, -and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:-- - -'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know -that cats COULD grin.' - -'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' - -'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite -pleased to have got into a conversation. - -'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.' - -Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would -be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she -was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the -fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at -the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a -shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of -them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, -that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not. - -'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in -an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually -large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off. - -'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse -growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it does.' - -'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get -an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. 'Just think of -what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes -twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis--' - -'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!' - -Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take -the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to -be listening, so she went on again: 'Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is -it twelve? I--' - -'Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide figures!' -And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of -lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of -every line: - - 'Speak roughly to your little boy, - And beat him when he sneezes: - He only does it to annoy, - Because he knows it teases.' - - CHORUS. - - (In which the cook and the baby joined):-- - - 'Wow! wow! wow!' - -While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing -the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, -that Alice could hardly hear the words:-- - - 'I speak severely to my boy, - I beat him when he sneezes; - For he can thoroughly enjoy - The pepper when he pleases!' - - CHORUS. - - 'Wow! wow! wow!' - -'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice, -flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and get ready to play -croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw -a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her. - -Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped -little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just -like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting -like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and -straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute -or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it. - -As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to -twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right -ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried -it out into the open air. 'IF I don't take this child away with me,' -thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be -murder to leave it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the -little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). -'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of expressing -yourself.' - -The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to -see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had -a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its -eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not -like the look of the thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' -she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any -tears. - -No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,' -said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind -now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible -to say which), and they went on for some while in silence. - -Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I to do with -this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently, -that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could -be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she -felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further. - -So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see -it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,' she said -to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes -rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began thinking over other -children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying -to herself, 'if one only knew the right way to change them--' when she -was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a -tree a few yards off. - -The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she -thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she -felt that it ought to be treated with respect. - -'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know -whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. -'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you -tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?' - -'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat. - -'I don't much care where--' said Alice. - -'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat. - -'--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation. - -'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long -enough.' - -Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. -'What sort of people live about here?' - -'In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives -a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March -Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.' - -'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. - -'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. -You're mad.' - -'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. - -'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.' - -Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 'And how -do you know that you're mad?' - -'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant that?' - -'I suppose so,' said Alice. - -'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry, -and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and -wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.' - -'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice. - -'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet with the -Queen to-day?' - -'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been invited -yet.' - -'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished. - -Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer -things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, -it suddenly appeared again. - -'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd nearly -forgotten to ask.' - -'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back -in a natural way. - -'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again. - -Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not -appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in -which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen hatters before,' she -said to herself; 'the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and -perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as -it was in March.' As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat -again, sitting on a branch of a tree. - -'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat. - -'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and -vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.' - -'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, -beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which -remained some time after the rest of it had gone. - -'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 'but a grin -without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!' - -She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house -of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the -chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It -was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had -nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to -about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, -saying to herself 'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost -wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!' - - - - -!!! CHAPTER VII. A Mad Tea-Party - -There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the -March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting -between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a -cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. 'Very -uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I -suppose it doesn't mind.' - -The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at -one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice -coming. 'There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat -down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. - -'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. - -Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. -'I don't see any wine,' she remarked. - -'There isn't any,' said the March Hare. - -'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily. - -'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said -the March Hare. - -'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; 'it's laid for a great -many more than three.' - -'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice -for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. - -'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some -severity; 'it's very rude.' - -The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID -was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' - -'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they've -begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud. - -'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the -March Hare. - -'Exactly so,' said Alice. - -'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on. - -'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what I -say--that's the same thing, you know.' - -'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just as well say -that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!' - -'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I -get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!' - -'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be -talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing -as "I sleep when I breathe"!' - -'It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the -conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice -thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, -which wasn't much. - -The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of the month -is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his -pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, -and holding it to his ear. - -Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.' - -'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter wouldn't suit -the works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare. - -'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied. - -'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled: -'you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.' - -The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped -it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of -nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It was the BEST butter, -you know.' - -Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a -funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't -tell what o'clock it is!' - -'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what -year it is?' - -'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it -stays the same year for such a long time together.' - -'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter. - -Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no -sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 'I don't quite -understand you,' she said, as politely as she could. - -'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little -hot tea upon its nose. - -The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its -eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.' - -'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice -again. - -'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?' - -'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter. - -'Nor I,' said the March Hare. - -Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better with the -time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.' - -'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk -about wasting IT. It's HIM.' - -'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice. - -'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. -'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!' - -'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to beat time -when I learn music.' - -'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand beating. -Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything -you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in -the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a -hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, -time for dinner!' - -('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.) - -'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 'but then--I -shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.' - -'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep it to -half-past one as long as you liked.' - -'Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked. - -The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We -quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing -with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it was at the great concert -given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing - - "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! - How I wonder what you're at!" - -You know the song, perhaps?' - -'I've heard something like it,' said Alice. - -'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this way:-- - - "Up above the world you fly, - Like a tea-tray in the sky. - Twinkle, twinkle--"' - -Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 'Twinkle, -twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch -it to make it stop. - -'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the -Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his -head!"' - -'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice. - -'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 'he won't -do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.' - -A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so many -tea-things are put out here?' she asked. - -'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always tea-time, -and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.' - -'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice. - -'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used up.' - -'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured -to ask. - -'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning. -'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.' - -'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the -proposal. - -'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, Dormouse!' And -they pinched it on both sides at once. - -The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a -hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows were saying.' - -'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare. - -'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice. - -'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be asleep again -before it's done.' - -'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began -in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and -they lived at the bottom of a well--' - -'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in -questions of eating and drinking. - -'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or -two. - -'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'they'd -have been ill.' - -'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY ill.' - -Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of -living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: 'But -why did they live at the bottom of a well?' - -'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. - -'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so I can't -take more.' - -'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take -MORE than nothing.' - -'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice. - -'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly. - -Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself -to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and -repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the bottom of a well?' - -The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then -said, 'It was a treacle-well.' - -'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the -Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily -remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for -yourself.' - -'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt again. I -dare say there may be ONE.' - -'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to -go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, -you know--' - -'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. - -'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time. - -'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move one place -on.' - -He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare -moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took -the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any -advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than -before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate. - -Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very -cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle -from?' - -'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so I should -think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?' - -'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to -notice this last remark. - -'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.' - -This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for -some time without interrupting it. - -'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing -its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drew all manner of -things--everything that begins with an M--' - -'Why with an M?' said Alice. - -'Why not?' said the March Hare. - -Alice was silent. - -The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into -a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with -a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an M, such as -mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say -things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a -drawing of a muchness?' - -'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't -think--' - -'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter. - -This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in -great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and -neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she -looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: -the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into -the teapot. - -'At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her -way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all -my life!' - -Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door -leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought. 'But -everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in -she went. - -Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little -glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself, -and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that -led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she -had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: -then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at -last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool -fountains. - - - - -!!! CHAPTER VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground - -A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses -growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily -painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went -nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of -them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like -that!' - -'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my -elbow.' - -On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the -blame on others!' - -'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only -yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!' - -'What for?' said the one who had spoken first. - -'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven. - -'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him--it was for -bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.' - -Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust -things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching -them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and -all of them bowed low. - -'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting -those roses?' - -Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low -voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a -RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen -was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. -So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this -moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called -out 'The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw -themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, -and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen. - -First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like -the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the -corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with -diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came -the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came -jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented -with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among -them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried -nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without -noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's -crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand -procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS. - -Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face -like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard -of such a rule at processions; 'and besides, what would be the use of -a procession,' thought she, 'if people had all to lie down upon their -faces, so that they couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was, -and waited. - -When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked -at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the -Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply. - -'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to -Alice, she went on, 'What's your name, child?' - -'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; -but she added, to herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of cards, after -all. I needn't be afraid of them!' - -'And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who -were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their -faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the -pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or -courtiers, or three of her own children. - -'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 'It's no -business of MINE.' - -The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a -moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head! Off--' - -'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was -silent. - -The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'Consider, my -dear: she is only a child!' - -The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 'Turn them -over!' - -The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot. - -'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three -gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, -the royal children, and everybody else. - -'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And then, -turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What HAVE you been doing here?' - -'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going -down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--' - -'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. -'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the -soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran -to Alice for protection. - -'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large -flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a -minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the -others. - -'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen. - -'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted -in reply. - -'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?' - -The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was -evidently meant for her. - -'Yes!' shouted Alice. - -'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession, -wondering very much what would happen next. - -'It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. She was -walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face. - -'Very,' said Alice: '--where's the Duchess?' - -'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked -anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon -tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered 'She's under -sentence of execution.' - -'What for?' said Alice. - -'Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked. - -'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's at all a pity. I said -"What for?"' - -'She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little -scream of laughter. 'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened -tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the -Queen said--' - -'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and -people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each -other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game -began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in -her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, -the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves -up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches. - -The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo: -she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under -her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got -its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a -blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, -with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out -laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin -again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled -itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was -generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the -hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up -and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the -conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed. - -The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling -all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short -time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and -shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' about once in a -minute. - -Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any -dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute, -'and then,' thought she, 'what would become of me? They're dreadfully -fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's any one -left alive!' - -She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she -could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance -in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it -a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself -'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.' - -'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth -enough for it to speak with. - -Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 'It's no use -speaking to it,' she thought, 'till its ears have come, or at least one -of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put -down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad -she had someone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was -enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared. - -'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a -complaining tone, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear -oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in particular; -at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and you've no idea how -confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the -arch I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the -ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only -it ran away when it saw mine coming!' - -'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice. - -'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed -that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, -'--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game.' - -The Queen smiled and passed on. - -'Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking -at the Cat's head with great curiosity. - -'It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me to -introduce it.' - -'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however, it may -kiss my hand if it likes.' - -'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked. - -'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me like that!' -He got behind Alice as he spoke. - -'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I've read that in some book, -but I don't remember where.' - -'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called -the Queen, who was passing at the moment, 'My dear! I wish you would -have this cat removed!' - -The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. -'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking round. - -'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he -hurried off. - -Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going -on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with -passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be -executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look -of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew -whether it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog. - -The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed -to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the -other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the -other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless -sort of way to fly up into a tree. - -By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight -was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 'but it doesn't -matter much,' thought Alice, 'as all the arches are gone from this side -of the ground.' So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not -escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her -friend. - -When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a -large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between -the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, -while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable. - -The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle -the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they -all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly -what they said. - -The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless -there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a -thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life. - -The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be -beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense. - -The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less -than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last -remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.) - -Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to the Duchess: -you'd better ask HER about it.' - -'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch her here.' -And the executioner went off like an arrow. - - The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, -by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely -disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down -looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game. - - - - -!!! CHAPTER IX. The Mock Turtle's Story - -'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!' -said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and -they walked off together. - -Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought -to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so -savage when they met in the kitchen. - -'When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone -though), 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup does very -well without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' -she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new kind of -rule, 'and vinegar that makes them sour--and camomile that makes -them bitter--and--and barley-sugar and such things that make children -sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so -stingy about it, you know--' - -She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little -startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. 'You're thinking -about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't -tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in -a bit.' - -'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark. - -'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a moral, if only -you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as -she spoke. - -Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the -Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the -right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, and it was an -uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she -bore it as well as she could. - -'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up -the conversation a little. - -''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is--"Oh, 'tis love, -'tis love, that makes the world go round!"' - -'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody minding -their own business!' - -'Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her -sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 'and the moral -of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of -themselves."' - -'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself. - -'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' -the Duchess said after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm doubtful about -the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?' - -'HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to -have the experiment tried. - -'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both bite. And -the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together."' - -'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked. - -'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you have of -putting things!' - -'It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice. - -'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to -everything that Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine near here. And -the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of -yours."' - -'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark, -'it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.' - -'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that -is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more -simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might -appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise -than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."' - -'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if -I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.' - -'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in -a pleased tone. - -'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said -Alice. - -'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. 'I make you a present -of everything I've said as yet.' - -'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they don't give -birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to say it out -loud. - -'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp -little chin. - -'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to -feel a little worried. - -'Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, 'as pigs have to fly; and -the m--' - -But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even -in the middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and the arm that was linked -into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen -in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm. - -'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice. - -'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the -ground as she spoke; 'either you or your head must be off, and that in -about half no time! Take your choice!' - -The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. - -'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was -too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the -croquet-ground. - -The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were -resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried -back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would -cost them their lives. - -All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with -the other players, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her -head!' Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, -who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by -the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the -players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and -under sentence of execution. - -Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, 'Have -you seen the Mock Turtle yet?' - -'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.' - -'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen. - -'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice. - -'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his history,' - -As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, -to the company generally, 'You are all pardoned.' 'Come, THAT'S a good -thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the -number of executions the Queen had ordered. - -They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. -(IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 'Up, lazy -thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to see the Mock -Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after some -executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, leaving Alice alone with -the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but on -the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go -after that savage Queen: so she waited. - -The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till -she was out of sight: then it chuckled. 'What fun!' said the Gryphon, -half to itself, half to Alice. - -'What IS the fun?' said Alice. - -'Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. 'It's all her fancy, that: they never -executes nobody, you know. Come on!' - -'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly -after it: 'I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!' - -They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, -sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came -nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She -pitied him deeply. 'What is his sorrow?' she asked the Gryphon, and the -Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, 'It's all his -fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!' - -So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes -full of tears, but said nothing. - -'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to know your -history, she do.' - -'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: 'sit -down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.' - -So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to -herself, 'I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.' But -she waited patiently. - -'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was a real -Turtle.' - -These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an -occasional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constant -heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and -saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,' but she could -not help thinking there MUST be more to come, so she sat still and said -nothing. - -'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, -though still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to school in the -sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--' - -'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked. - -'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle -angrily: 'really you are very dull!' - -'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,' -added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor -Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said -to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!' -and he went on in these words: - -'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--' - -'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice. - -'You did,' said the Mock Turtle. - -'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again. -The Mock Turtle went on. - -'We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--' - -'I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; 'you needn't be so proud -as all that.' - -'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously. - -'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.' - -'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle. - -'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly. - -'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in -a tone of great relief. 'Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, -"French, music, AND WASHING--extra."' - -'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the bottom of -the sea.' - -'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I -only took the regular course.' - -'What was that?' inquired Alice. - -'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle -replied; 'and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition, -Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.' - -'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. 'What is it?' - -The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never heard of -uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?' - -'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means--to--make--anything--prettier.' - -'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify is, -you ARE a simpleton.' - -Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she -turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you to learn?' - -'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting off -the subjects on his flappers, '--Mystery, ancient and modern, with -Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, -that used to come once a week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and -Fainting in Coils.' - -'What was THAT like?' said Alice. - -'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too -stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.' - -'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics master, though. -He was an old crab, HE was.' - -'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: 'he taught -Laughing and Grief, they used to say.' - -'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both -creatures hid their faces in their paws. - -'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to -change the subject. - -'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so -on.' - -'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice. - -'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked: -'because they lessen from day to day.' - -This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little -before she made her next remark. 'Then the eleventh day must have been a -holiday?' - -'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle. - -'And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly. - -'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided -tone: 'tell her something about the games now.' - - - - -!!! CHAPTER X. The Lobster Quadrille - -The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across -his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or -two sobs choked his voice. 'Same as if he had a bone in his throat,' -said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in -the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears -running down his cheeks, he went on again:-- - -'You may not have lived much under the sea--' ('I haven't,' said -Alice)--'and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--' -(Alice began to say 'I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and -said 'No, never') '--so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a -Lobster Quadrille is!' - -'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?' - -'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the -sea-shore--' - -'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; -then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--' - -'THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon. - -'--you advance twice--' - -'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon. - -'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners--' - -'--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon. - -'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw the--' - -'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air. - -'--as far out to sea as you can--' - -'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon. - -'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly -about. - -'Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice. - -'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock -Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been -jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly -and quietly, and looked at Alice. - -'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly. - -'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle. - -'Very much indeed,' said Alice. - -'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. -'We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?' - -'Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the words.' - -So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and -then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their -forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly -and sadly:-- - - '"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail. - "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail. - - See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! - They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance? - - Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? - Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance? - - "You can really have no notion how delightful it will be - When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!" - But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance-- - Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance. - - Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance. - Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance. - - '"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied. - "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. - The further off from England the nearer is to France-- - Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance. - - Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? - Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"' - -'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling -very glad that it was over at last: 'and I do so like that curious song -about the whiting!' - -'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they--you've seen them, -of course?' - -'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked herself -hastily. - -'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but if you've -seen them so often, of course you know what they're like.' - -'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. 'They have their tails in -their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.' - -'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs would all -wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the -reason is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--'Tell her -about the reason and all that,' he said to the Gryphon. - -'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they WOULD go with the lobsters -to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long -way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get -them out again. That's all.' - -'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting. I never knew so much -about a whiting before.' - -'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. 'Do you -know why it's called a whiting?' - -'I never thought about it,' said Alice. 'Why?' - -'IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly. - -Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated -in a wondering tone. - -'Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. 'I mean, what -makes them so shiny?' - -Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her -answer. 'They're done with blacking, I believe.' - -'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, -'are done with a whiting. Now you know.' - -'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity. - -'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently: -'any shrimp could have told you that.' - -'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running -on the song, 'I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we -don't want YOU with us!"' - -'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: 'no -wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.' - -'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise. - -'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to ME, and -told me he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"' - -'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice. - -'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And -the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.' - -'I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said -Alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back to yesterday, -because I was a different person then.' - -'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle. - -'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: -'explanations take such a dreadful time.' - -So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first -saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first, -the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened -their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went -on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about -her repeating 'YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the -words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, -and said 'That's very curious.' - -'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon. - -'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. 'I -should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to -begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of -authority over Alice. - -'Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the -Gryphon. - -'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' -thought Alice; 'I might as well be at school at once.' However, she -got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster -Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came -very queer indeed:-- - - ''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, - "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." - As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose - Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.' - - [later editions continued as follows - When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, - And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark, - But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, - His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.] - -'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the -Gryphon. - -'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it sounds -uncommon nonsense.' - -Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, -wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again. - -'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle. - -'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with the next -verse.' - -'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How COULD he turn them -out with his nose, you know?' - -'It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully -puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject. - -'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 'it -begins "I passed by his garden."' - -Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come -wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:-- - - 'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, - How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--' - - [later editions continued as follows - The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, - While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat. - When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, - Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: - While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, - And concluded the banquet--] - -'What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle -interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most -confusing thing I ever heard!' - -'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was -only too glad to do so. - -'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went -on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?' - -'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice -replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, -'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old -fellow?' - -The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked -with sobs, to sing this:-- - - 'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, - Waiting in a hot tureen! - Who for such dainties would not stoop? - Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! - Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! - Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! - Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! - Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, - Beautiful, beautiful Soup! - - 'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, - Game, or any other dish? - Who would not give all else for two - Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? - Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? - Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! - Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! - Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, - Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!' - -'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun -to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!' was heard in the -distance. - -'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried -off, without waiting for the end of the song. - -'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only -answered 'Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly -came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:-- - - 'Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, - Beautiful, beautiful Soup!' - - - - -!!! CHAPTER XI. Who Stole the Tarts? - -The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they -arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts of little -birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was -standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard -him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, -and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court -was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, -that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them--'I wish they'd get the -trial done,' she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!' But there -seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about -her, to pass away the time. - -Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read -about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew -the name of nearly everything there. 'That's the judge,' she said to -herself, 'because of his great wig.' - -The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the -wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did -not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. - -'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve creatures,' -(she was obliged to say 'creatures,' you see, because some of them were -animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they are the jurors.' She said -this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of -it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of her -age knew the meaning of it at all. However, 'jury-men' would have done -just as well. - -The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 'What are they -doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They can't have anything to put -down yet, before the trial's begun.' - -'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, 'for -fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.' - -'Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped -hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in the court!' and the -King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who -was talking. - -Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, -that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!' on their slates, -and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell -'stupid,' and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. 'A nice -muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over!' thought Alice. - -One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice -could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and -very soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly -that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out -at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was -obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was -of very little use, as it left no mark on the slate. - -'Herald, read the accusation!' said the King. - -On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then -unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-- - - 'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, - All on a summer day: - The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, - And took them quite away!' - -'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury. - -'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'There's a great -deal to come before that!' - -'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three -blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'First witness!' - -The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one -hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 'I beg pardon, your -Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished -my tea when I was sent for.' - -'You ought to have finished,' said the King. 'When did you begin?' - -The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the -court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I think it -was,' he said. - -'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare. - -'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse. - -'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly -wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and -reduced the answer to shillings and pence. - -'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter. - -'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter. - -'Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a -memorandum of the fact. - -'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 'I've none of -my own. I'm a hatter.' - -Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter, -who turned pale and fidgeted. - -'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or I'll have -you executed on the spot.' - -This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting -from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in -his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the -bread-and-butter. - -Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled -her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to -grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave -the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as -long as there was room for her. - -'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was sitting -next to her. 'I can hardly breathe.' - -'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.' - -'You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse. - -'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know you're growing -too.' - -'Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 'not in that -ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the -other side of the court. - -All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and, -just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers -of the court, 'Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!' on -which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off. - -'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have you -executed, whether you're nervous or not.' - -'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice, -'--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the -bread-and-butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea--' - -'The twinkling of the what?' said the King. - -'It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied. - -'Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. 'Do you -take me for a dunce? Go on!' - -'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things twinkled after -that--only the March Hare said--' - -'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry. - -'You did!' said the Hatter. - -'I deny it!' said the March Hare. - -'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.' - -'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, looking -anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied -nothing, being fast asleep. - -'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-and-butter--' - -'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked. - -'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter. - -'You MUST remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have you executed.' - -The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went -down on one knee. 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began. - -'You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. - -Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by -the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just -explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied -up at the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, -head first, and then sat upon it.) - -'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often read -in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some attempts -at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the -court," and I never understood what it meant till now.' - -'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' continued the -King. - -'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as it is.' - -'Then you may SIT down,' the King replied. - -Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. - -'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we shall get -on better.' - -'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the -Queen, who was reading the list of singers. - -'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court, -without even waiting to put his shoes on. - -'--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the -officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get -to the door. - -'Call the next witness!' said the King. - -The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in -her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the -court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once. - -'Give your evidence,' said the King. - -'Shan't,' said the cook. - -The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, -'Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.' - -'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy air, and, -after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were -nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'What are tarts made of?' - -'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook. - -'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her. - -'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that Dormouse! -Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his -whiskers!' - -For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse -turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had -disappeared. - -'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 'Call the next -witness.' And he added in an undertone to the Queen, 'Really, my dear, -YOU must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead -ache!' - -Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very -curious to see what the next witness would be like, '--for they haven't -got much evidence YET,' she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, when -the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the -name 'Alice!' - - - - -!!! CHAPTER XII. Alice's Evidence - - -'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how -large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such -a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, -upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there -they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish -she had accidentally upset the week before. - -'Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and -began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of -the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea -that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or -they would die. - -'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until -all the jurymen are back in their proper places--ALL,' he repeated with -great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do. - -Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put -the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its -tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got -it out again, and put it right; 'not that it signifies much,' she said -to herself; 'I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial -one way up as the other.' - -As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being -upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to -them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the -accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do -anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the -court. - -'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice. - -'Nothing,' said Alice. - -'Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King. - -'Nothing whatever,' said Alice. - -'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were -just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit -interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a -very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke. - -'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on -to himself in an undertone, - -'important--unimportant--unimportant--important--' as if he were trying -which word sounded best. - -Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.' -Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; -'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she thought to herself. - -At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in -his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule -Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.' - -Everybody looked at Alice. - -'I'M not a mile high,' said Alice. - -'You are,' said the King. - -'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen. - -'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's not a -regular rule: you invented it just now.' - -'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King. - -'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice. - -The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 'Consider your -verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice. - -'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White -Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has just been picked -up.' - -'What's in it?' said the Queen. - -'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a -letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.' - -'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was written to -nobody, which isn't usual, you know.' - -'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen. - -'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, there's -nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and -added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.' - -'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen. - -'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing -about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.) - -'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury -all brightened up again.) - -'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they -can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.' - -'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the matter -worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your -name like an honest man.' - -There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really -clever thing the King had said that day. - -'That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen. - -'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know -what they're about!' - -'Read them,' said the King. - -The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please -your Majesty?' he asked. - -'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you -come to the end: then stop.' - -These were the verses the White Rabbit read:-- - - 'They told me you had been to her, - And mentioned me to him: - She gave me a good character, - But said I could not swim. - - He sent them word I had not gone - (We know it to be true): - If she should push the matter on, - What would become of you? - - I gave her one, they gave him two, - You gave us three or more; - They all returned from him to you, - Though they were mine before. - - If I or she should chance to be - Involved in this affair, - He trusts to you to set them free, - Exactly as we were. - - My notion was that you had been - (Before she had this fit) - An obstacle that came between - Him, and ourselves, and it. - - Don't let him know she liked them best, - For this must ever be - A secret, kept from all the rest, - Between yourself and me.' - -'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the -King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--' - -'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large -in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting -him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't believe there's an atom of -meaning in it.' - -The jury all wrote down on their slates, 'SHE doesn't believe there's an -atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper. - -'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a world of -trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,' -he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them -with one eye; 'I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. "--SAID -I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the -Knave. - -The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he -certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.) - -'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over -the verses to himself: '"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's the jury, of -course--"I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what he -did with the tarts, you know--' - -'But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice. - -'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts -on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again--"BEFORE SHE -HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the -Queen. - -'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard -as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his -slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily -began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as -it lasted.) - -'Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court -with a smile. There was a dead silence. - -'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed, -'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the -twentieth time that day. - -'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first--verdict afterwards.' - -'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the -sentence first!' - -'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple. - -'I won't!' said Alice. - -'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody -moved. - -'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this -time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!' - -At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon -her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and -tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her -head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead -leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face. - -'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long sleep you've -had!' - -'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her -sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures -of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had -finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It WAS a curious dream, -dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.' So -Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, -what a wonderful dream it had been. - -But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her -hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her -wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and -this was her dream:-- - -First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny -hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking -up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that -queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that -WOULD always get into her eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to -listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures -of her little sister's dream. - -The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the -frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she -could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends -shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen -ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby -was sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed -around it--once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the -Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, -filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock -Turtle. - -So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in -Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all -would change to dull reality--the grass would be only rustling in the -wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds--the rattling -teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill -cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the -shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she -knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing -of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's -heavy sobs. - -Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers -would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would -keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her -childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and -make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even -with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with -all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, -remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days. - - THE END - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND *** - -***** This file should be named 11.txt or 11.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/1/11/ - - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - http://www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Apple.tid b/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Apple.tid index becee440d..b5f86997d 100644 --- a/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Apple.tid +++ b/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Apple.tid @@ -1,6 +1,6 @@ created: 20180222072026299 list: [[Apple 6]] [[Apple 7]] [[Apple 8]] [[Apple 9]] [[Apple 10]] [[Apple 20]] [[Apple 30]] [[Apple 100]] -modified: 20180222072215582 -tags: +modified: 20211115005421558 +tags: Demonstrations title: Apple diff --git a/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Caruso - Ave Maria.tid b/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Caruso - Ave Maria.tid index ee43d47e6..e69de29bb 100644 --- a/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Caruso - Ave Maria.tid +++ b/editions/tw5.com/tiddlers/demonstrations/Caruso - Ave Maria.tid @@ -1,3 +0,0 @@ -title: Caruso - Ave Maria -type: audio/mp3 -_canonical_uri: https://archive.org/download/Caruso_part1/Caruso-AveMaria.mp3